In 1956, I was in England, just finishing up. I was approached by one of the English wrestlers. I don't remember for sure, but I think it was a fellow by the name of the Dazzler. He asked me if I'd like to go to Frankfort, Germany for one match. It paid 300 pounds. In them days, it was two dollars and eighty cents to a pound. That was pretty good money. I said, "Yeah, sure!" That would give me a chance to get to Frankfort and see one of my brothers, who was a sergeant in the Regimental Police.
I called the promoter in Frankfort and asked what hotel I should book in at. He said he'd pick me up that night. I said, "Well, I'd like to bring my brother and some of his friends." He said, "Sure." He picked us up in a big, old limousine. That was unusual in Germany. He took us to this place and dropped me off at the back. I was wearing a hood and billed as the American champion.
We went through a massive beer hall and upstairs into an office. I was unaware of what was going down below. When they come and got me, I walked down and there was about five hundred people there. They was all gays ... all dressed up as drag queens. They looked like the French Angel with wigs on ... big, bulky guys. My brother and his friends are sitting at ringside in their best uniforms. They were just sittin' there with their hands in the laps, and these drag queens are all over ‘em.
The ring was the smallest ring I ever wrestled in. I'd say it was about ten by ten on the ground with widely spaced ropes. I get into the ring and I'm embarrassed as the dickens. In comes this referee ... he prances in. Then in comes this big, blond giant ... with a tiara on his head, a gown with a fur collar ... and diamond studded wrestling boots. I don't mind tellin' ya. I was scared to death. In fact, I was more embarrassed for my brother.
To make a long story short, we were introduced. He smelt terrible ... all perfume and everything. All these gays are reachin' through the ropes and strokin' me. I go to my corner and he comes flying at me. What was it my brother said? Let's see if I can get it right. "I thought he was gonna do a flyin', double liplock on you." He come at me and he slapped me. I was embarrassed, so I panicked and hit him right in the mouth. He went back ... and honestly. I never heard a scream like that when he touched that blood on his lip. He sat down. I didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, I got drowned with about fifty gallons of beer thrown from ringside. Then they start coming in the ring. They have these long, big fingernails and they was clawin' at me. The referee ... he panicked.
I got out and got with my brother and his friends. In truth, I don't remember how in the heck we got to the back and into a taxi cab. We all went pilin' in on top of one another. When we got to their barracks, they wouldn't let me go in with ‘em.
So I got back to my hotel room ... minus my clothes.
The next morning, I didn't know what to do. Luckily for me, I left my passport and my wallet in the hotel. I didn't take ‘em to the dressing room. I had to get back for my clothes. I went back and, end of the story, no clothes, no money. I got the heck out as quick as I could. That may not be all that funny, but it was a very dangerous situation. My brothers' friends were in their best uniforms and had buttons and such ripped off. Years later, my brother told me he had never been so embarrassed, because it had went around the barracks that I was wrestlin' queers and fairys. Oohh!
There was an idea that crossed my mind several years ago. I enjoy humor and I think most of your readers do. In future issues, I'm going to reveal my innermost revelations to the world ... to the boys ... to the fans. These revelations will be answers to the questions that most of us would ask concerning the wrestling business.
Many years ago, I was given divine revelations by my guardian angel, Bruce. He set out some laws ... the old orders that wrestlers are to follow ... the "Secrets of the Brotherhood of Old Wrestlers." After I was given the revelations, I made my way into the world, where I became known far and wide as Daniel the Beloved, the carpenter from the Far East. I'll tell you about the Brothers of Pain and Suffering, and how they suffered in the ring against the Unbelievers ... but that is another story, dear reader, for another time. Until the next time, goodbye.
